Hate mail and love letters

Posted by The Wizzle | Posted on Wednesday, October 6, 2010 at 7:49 PM

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Got the idea here. I think this might be downright therapeutic, and the format is definitely a match for my current energy level, blogging time commitment, and attention span. Thanks for the idea, Heidi - I think I might do this more often!

* * *

Dear Summer,

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Good riddance,

Me

* * *

Dear Steve Ross, Urban Yoga, Lifetime Fitness, and Monday-Wednesday-Friday Church Aerobics Class (the one with all the nice old ladies),

I hope you're doing someone out there some good, because it's just not going to happen for me right now. Or in the foreseeable future. I'm not sure exactly what it would take for me to join the ranks of the fit and fabulous again, but I think it might involve a chef, a nanny, a hundred million dollars, and a time machine.

Feeling fat but definitely not lazy,

The Delinquent Yogini

* * *

Dear Kids,

At what age is common sense developmentally appropriate? Can we skip to there please?

Very sincerely,

Your Mother

* * *

Dear Elementary School Car Line,

It hasn't been easy with two young opinionated tagalongs, afternoon naps, early dismissal, and the Summer that just wouldn't die, but as of today I have found a satisfactory way to get Devlin there and home without partaking in your very special brand of insanity. We all get fresh air and exercise, reduce our carbon footprint, and it doesn't take all day. I'll be delighted when my kids are old enough to transport themselves safely without my supervision, but in the meantime I am happy to thumb my nose and kiss your hellish twice-daily ritual goodbye.

Neener neener,

A happy cyclist mother of three

* * *

Dear Payday,

I really, really think we should see each other more often. Frugality does have its limits.

You complete me,

Rachel Dixon
Co-Chairman, Dixon Enterprises Ltd.

* * *

Dear Front and Back Yards,

I am so, so very grateful to have you, don't get me wrong. I wished for you for a long time, and every day I look out my windows at you and eat lunch under your lovely big tree and I just think you're all around pretty fabulous. But is there any chance you just want to, like, whip yourself into shape real quick? The neighbors just informed me that our hedges are threatening to become their hedges too. I didn't think hedges were contagious.

Learning something new every day,

A Clueless Gardener

Comments (5)

Ha ha! I love it. You're so cute. And I love this format. Feel free to add to this list anytime. It's highly entertaining!

Love,
Your sis

Dear Rachel,

Your efforts did not disappoint. Laughter deep in the belly.....

Love,

Your devoted reader

Dear Rachel,

I love how witty and funny you are...it only makes me (stretching arms out as wide as they both go) this jealous! You are a great writer. Fantastic, even.

Blog on.

Love it. Keep 'em coming.

i love the letters too! in fact, i love all your posts!