Money makes the world go round

Posted by The Wizzle | Posted on Wednesday, October 20, 2010 at 7:45 AM


If someone handed me a hundred million dollars, there are a few small and simple things I would like taken care of. I don't want a private jet, or a huge mansion, or a pile of diamonds (definitely not a pile of diamonds). Just a few little niceties would make me smile.

1. A haircut every three weeks. I cut my own in the bathroom sink a few days ago, and I think I did all right. But this is #1 for me. If I cut it the way I like it, by week 4 I'm shaggy, grouchy, and desperately seeking Callie the Stylist. If I have it cut to last 6 weeks without a trim, I get a suspicious amount of attention from a lot of very nice ladies in flannel shirts.

2. I've been dithering about whether a housekeeper, chauffer, nanny, or chef would be most desirable, and I decided that what I need is a wife! I need another me, preferably one who is neutered, and with the personality of my best friend and the patience of a saint. This request might be a little unorthodox, but I figure with hundred million dollars we can make something happen, right?

3. Two child-free vacations per year. I know, just one would be awesome, but since I'm dreaming, I think two would be even better. I'm gearing up for my first one since before I was pregnant with Iris and just the anticipation of it is so marvelous that I can scarcely imagine the thrill of the actual event! I've got the with-kids traveling well in hand: we have enough family just far enough away to make for a few nice yearly trips, and I enjoy and look forward to those occasions very much. But for me, if you have to pack diapers, a leash, and a baby monitor, I cannot in good conscience qualify it as a "vacation".

I think I have some of my hundred million left over, so I hereby bequeath it to all of you, on the condition that you have to comment or post and link what you will do with it. Reading over your ideas will give me something nice to do while I look over the "wifey" applications that are sure to come rolling in now!

Comments (9)

My secret wish is to anonymously fund college scholarships for deserving students, quietly pay off mortgages, and eliminate medical debt for friends. I know desperate need exists all around the world, but I often wish I could offer financial assistance to people in my own sphere.

I second request #3 - that would be wunderbar.

I'm cool with a haircut from you every few weeks, with a quarterly-ish professional job; perhaps if Pierre were more skilled...?

With a hundred million dollars, I could afford to finish college without working full time. That would be magical.

100 million ought to just about cover getting us out of debt.

With the remainder I would probably splurge and go get some Joe's BBQ

On a more serious note, removing all the debt (including homes) for everyone in our family (which would probably wipe out about $2 million). Finish my PhD in NeuroPsychology, then start a non-profit company with the goal of finding private funding for educational projects.


I would get a piano. That's the only thing I actually want really bad.

I would hire someone to amooth out all the interior stucco in your house. Maybe that just because it is fresh in my mind.

See, I think with a hundred million we could *all* cover all the little things we want! Does anybody have Bill Gates' number?

Also, do I have the kindest, sweetest, most selfless friends and family in the world, or what? Except me, of course. :)

i share runningfan's same wish, but i'm pretty sure i would also:

hire a trainer, take my girls to disneyland, pay off my houses/car, and acquire health insurance that covers visits to the dermatologist.

One top item on my list would be to hire an interior decorator, a stylist, and a personal shopper.

Rachel, I don't think we've ever met, but I'm one of David's many Dixon cousins. :) Anyway I love reading your blog and "meeting" your little family...

If I had a hundred million dollars:

I would pay for the rest of school, then pay for a mission. I would take my family on a vacation outside of Idaho. I would take my dad back to Sweden. That's where he served his mission and it would be fun to take him back.

The rest would go to childhood cancer research, and poor teachers and schools across the nation. :)