Fecal matters

Posted by The Wizzle | Posted on Wednesday, January 19, 2011 at 7:55 PM


Dear 85213 (just to be safe),

I spent all afternoon working in my front garden. It was a lovely warm afternoon, the sun was shining, and all should have been well. But I kept smelling fertilizer. Rank, stinky, POOPY fertilizer.

I didn't use fertilizer.

It took me 2 hours, but I figured it out where that smell was coming from. This may seem like a double standard, since I've literally been cheering on my own daughter's bowel movements from close range all week long, but a big heap of steaming dog turd on the grass I have been working so hard to cultivate was not the cherry on top of my afternoon. It wasn't like it was on the perimeter of the property somewhere, either - it was less than 6 feet from my front door.

I used to want a dog. I love dogs. Before I had kids, I needed something to take care of. Now I have three small children, and to say that my caretaker urge is satisfied would be an understatement of Biblical proportions. So your dog pooping on my doorstep is NOT a welcome development. The sanctity of my home has been violated, and my dander is up.

I love my house, I love my street, my neighbors are great, and so far I've had no complaints.

But so help me dog - if I ever smell a turd out there again, there's gonna be a showdown.



Comments (3)

Eewwww. I feel your pain. I'm sure you've seen my FB rants about the dogs AND cats who like to use my yard as their personal litter boxes. Grrrrr is right.

Ha ha ha!!! Forgive me, this is funny.

Been battling that one for as long as I've been gardening. If you figure out an answer, please pass it on to me. It could have something to do with my anti-pet sentiments. Gag.