I know you are, but what am I?

Posted by The Wizzle | Posted on Saturday, January 15, 2011 at 9:00 PM


I found an interesting little article today.

I feel like someone has been spying through my kitchen window, only the window is bubble glass, and the spy is wearing polarized lenses that make the colors of my life all wrong, my digital displays swirly rainbow nothings.

(And guess what, lady - if you hang around my kitchen window very long, you are bound to see me running by in my underwear to get something decidedly unglamorous out of the laundry room, which I assure you bears no resemblance to any catalog I've ever received. So don't say I didn't warn you.)

I guess most of us "Mormon Mommy Bloggers" would say that our lives are really nothing like she says: we're not perfect, our feet stink, our floors are crumby and our kids have yogurt in their hair. And the ones who won't admit it are either lying dogs, or have figured out the secrets of cloning and time travel. (And they aren't sharing.)

I was listening to NPR the other day (careful, your leftist is showing!) and thinking about important people, people who matter, people who do things that have global impact. Kings, presidents, journalists, human rights advocates. And I thought about how very different, and small, my life must seem to some people. I can tell you that I've never been to Sudan, and I'm sure I'll never sign anything into law, but my life matters. It's in my face, every day. The most important people in the world are here, in my house, in the next room, and I wouldn't trade a moment with them for any amount of fame and fortune. If everyone put the emphasis on taking care of their families that Mormons do, whatever else you think of us, the world would be a more loving place.

I don't know. I don't even really have anything else to say about it. When you've spent your whole life living in the crack between Mormons who've never had a moment's hesitation and Everybody Else, the novelty of analyzing it to death sort of wears off. My life is just that - my life - and everyone else's life is their own. If people want to spend their days wondering if I'm for real, or how someone else affords their hipster lifestyle, or if all Mormons are on Prozac, that's cool.

Me? I don't have time. I just got back from taking my three perfect children to pick oranges at my parents' house, singing I Am A Child of God and frolicking, holding hands, in the Arizona sunset.

Ain't life grand?

Comments (8)

I have had this conversation with other people who blog and I really feel there are a group of women out there who try really hard to push out or seriously downplay the negative and play up the positive--really recoloring the picture of their lives. I don't think you do this, so I wouldn't include you in this group.

To be fair, I don't think it is just MM bloggers who readjust the pigment, but I think the large majority of happy-happy Mommy bloggers are Mormon. It's probably just that MM are targeted because their lives are more traditional and they are much more dedicated to journaling.

I have had to lay off many of the happy-happy blogs, especially CJane (UGH!), because I don't think they are realistic.

You, my friend, though upbeat are not deluded or living in a fantasy world. You approach life with love, tenderness, humor, and a healthy dose of reality.

I know, right? I'm Mormon, I'm a mom, I'm a blogger - but I don't think I'm quite who she was thinking of!

Interesting article. Thanks for sharing. I think more of the draw to those blogs is similar to the draw that (at least for me) one has to the old Nick at Nite shows. Like, the Patty Duke Show, Dick Van Dyke Show, etc. No matter how cheesy and predictable those shows are, I still love to watch them!

I personally don't like to read like to read those super, overly happy and make life sound perfect mom blogs. I think they leave a lot of the readers with unrealistic expectations for themselves. (For instance, I am not going to spend hours prepping ridiculous decorations when all my kids will remember is the fun they have and if Mom was stressed or not. I would rather spend the time enjoying the fun.)

As to this statement:

"Some pundits see this as a sign that young women yearn to return to some kind of 1950s Ozzie and Harriet existence, that feminism has "failed," that women are realizing they can't have it all, after all. That view is utterly nonsense, in my opinion..."

I think it is more that Mormon Mom's realize they can have it all and choose the home as where they want to be if possible.

I enjoy reading your blog and I've always loved hearing your opinions!

We can't win, none of us. I was just secretly delighted she wasn't ragging on Catholic moms. And p.s., there are a few secular versions of the uber positive mommy blog (soulemama, anyone?).

I am a little obsessed with LDS life, too, but I don't mind. I think we'd all be happier if we acknowledged our own desire for the Good, the True, and the Beautiful. In this woman's world, all joy is suspect, and one can be anything but pure. What a sad, sad way to think and be in the world.

What could be more important than taking care of one's family? Keep on keepin' on, mama.

i seriously love your blog, i love that it's witty, funny, real and I can relate! I have days where I am stressed, pulling hair, having to clean poop out of undies at church( happened today in fact) and then I just can laugh and cuddle with my little one the next minute. Life Happens and we can either laugh or cry at it or both. Sit back and relax, enjoy the ride and Be Real, love ya Rach!

I love all these very thoughtful comments from your readers!

I, too, believe your candor and realism is one of your trademarks, Rachel--on this blog and in person. I find it charming. :)

None of us is perfect, and I think to paint ourselves as such, or more commonly others by comparison, is honestly more harmful than helpful. We're all human. I think most of us aspire to be optimists and I think that's a very worthwhile endeavor, but it doesn't mean our lives are only worth documenting if done so always through rose-colored glasses. I love to read heartfelt accounts of the unpleasant and flaw-laden because I relate. Those stories and how those they involve move forward are inspiring to me. We're all doing the best we can. What else matters?

Funny how many Mormom moms I actually follow on Google, purely by coincidence LOL...but here's another response to the same article - maybe you already follow her anyway? http://miscellaneousandetc.blogspot.com/2011/01/women-are-like-blogs.html

One thing I have always loved about mom-bloggers is the openness about life's realities and our constant challenge to come through all of these moments (positive & negative) wiser, and learn from all of it.

The women who inspire me most are people, like you, who are honest about feelings, yet keep proper perspective to not become overwhelmed and cynical. It helps me to realize we ALL go through the same feelings, and I feel very much more normal! :)

What was that bit about "realizing they can't have it all" and making it sound like women are resorting back to home-life because of that... ? The beauty of this phenomenon is that we can SEE our divine purpose truly IS in family. (blah, blah, rare instances, yadda-yo) and you reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

"Good homes are still the best source of good humans." -- Neal A. Maxwell

Keep up the GOOD work, Rach. :)