Posted by The Wizzle | Posted on Friday, July 8, 2011 at 7:23 PM


Dear Treadmill,

I've tried everything: pumping music, fascinating podcasts, and trashy television. Nothing distracts me from the fact that I'm...on a treadmill. My heart, lungs, and legs can handle it. But somewhere around the 12 minute mark, my brain starts screaming "GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF OR I'LL KILL YOU!"

I don't really know what to do about that.

I'm going to keep seeing you until the weather cools off and I can try to win the hand of your supposedly much more handsome, interesting counterpart, Running Outside. I just hate you, and I wanted you to know.


The Sweaty Redhead

* * * * *

Dear Raw-Tomato Sauce Pasta,

You are delicious. You were delicious when I made you two days ago. You were delicious for dinner last night, and lunch today, and dinner just now. But I'm so glad you're gone and I can eat something else tomorrow with a clear conscience.


Chef Rachel

* * * * *

Dear Harry Potter,

You're taking over my life. And I like it. I don't think my husband does though.

Oh well,

A Reluctant Muggle

* * * * *

Dear Rachel,

Stop eating so many cookies. Seriously. Just stop.

No really,


* * * * *

Dear vegetable garden,

Look, I don't know what happened. (Actually, I do know what happened. Summer happened.) I tried my best. I enriched your soil, I carefully selected your location, I watered you by hand. And you? Mostly, you did nothing. The plants you did produce grew halfheartedly, and then unceremoniously shriveled and died.

I'm going to give you another try in more hospitable weather. David says he'll put in a drip system. I don't think I can take any more rejection. Shall we let bygones be bygones?

Cautiously optimistic,

Not Martha

Comments (2)

You are so clever. I do so love your letters. You're awesome. Love you!!!

You made me smile. :)