Posted by The Wizzle | Posted on Saturday, May 12, 2012 at 8:54 PM


Dear Universe,

I just thought you should know that I was driving to the library a couple of days ago, and there is actually a store called Quick Guns.  Cutting right to the chase there, aren't we my friends?  Am I the only person who feels like the world is a crazier place, knowing that out of all the adjectives a store could place in front of "guns" in their name, they went with "quick"?!

Sleeping with one eye open,

This Little Hippie

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Dear Person Who Shall Remain Nameless
(because I am not vindictive, just incredibly annoyed),

Computers are not going away.  Telephones have been around longer than anyone living on this planet.  Homing pigeons, messages in bottles, and the Pony Express are pretty well all things of the past.  If you are 90 years old and don't want to spend your last years on earth learning to use Gmail, I give you a pass.  But if you are running a business in the 21st century, and you are expecting me to give you money, then ignoring my repeated contact requests through several different media for months (literally, MONTHS) and finally responding with a feeble "I'm really bad with phone and emails" is not the way to do it.  Stop making excuses, learn how to use your glowing rectangles, and get.over.yourself.

P.S. Since we're being so adorably old-fashioned, would you like your payment in hay bales or homespun fabric?  JUST KIDDING.

You'll thank me later,

Not Exactly a Technical Genius but Apparently Smarter Than You

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Dear Dance Moms,

Don't take this the wrong way, but when your 5-year-old is wearing a pink recital costume with rhinestones and wings on the back onstage, and you are 35 and wearing a pink shirt with rhinestones and printed wings on the back to the grocery store, it might be time to take it down a few notches.

Don't even get me started on the sweatpants with sassy sayings on your should-know-better backside,

The Fashion Police

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Dear Blogger,

You recently "upgraded" your publishing platform.  Trouble is, not even my husband, who is a professional computer programmer, can consistently make your website do his bidding - and as for me, well, I think the neighbors three houses in either direction know exactly how I feel about the new format.  Let's just say, things are not looking good for our continued relationship.

It's definitely you, not me,

The Wizzle

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