Today, this very Wednesday, my youngest child has:
applied a large amount of my (expensive) makeup to the bathroom counter
applied a large amount of (expensive) hair gel to her curls, which now sleep in stiff corkscrews upon her sticky pillow
caused me to have to say, out loud, in public, "Iris, life is long and you will have plenty of opportunities to wipe your own bum".
Iris Olivia Dixon, I love you.
And I surrender.