The Prayer

Posted by The Wizzle | Posted on Wednesday, July 11, 2012 at 5:16 PM


O Lord, bless this thy servant the Vacuum with strength and wisdom, that it might have power and suction even beyond that of its natural machinery

And yea, also good judgment, that it may not suck unto itself that which would render it clogged and useless, and with a great whining sound and fruitless toiling of the bristles

Yea, though the path be strewn with socks, and water balloons, and safety pins, and bits of yarn, and duct tape, and popsicle sticks

And Lincoln logs, and marbles, and pipe cleaners, and iron filings, and tiny batteries, and many, many Legos, yea, even many rare and desirable Legos

And sand, and rocks, and sticks, and shells, and magnets, and shoelaces

And Monopoly houses, and Battleship pegs, and cups with lo just one swallow of liquid remaining, and apple cores, and old bits of cheese that are shriveled like unto a raisin

And homework from two years ago, and candy wrappers, and robots, and slingshots, and lanyards, and paper airplanes

And yea, every manner of project of strange and curious workmanship, and also many experiments

Though all these things may hedge up the way against our path, we know that this must be done, in thy mercy, O Lord

We know that we must venture into the very mouth of the beast, yea, even into Devlin's bedroom, for even that dark and loathsome cavern must be cleaned from time to time, for thus it is pleasing unto Thee

Thy will be done, and if we should not return from our endeavor, receive the spirit of thy servant the Vacuum into thine eternal rest.  Amen.

Comments (3)


Just lobbeth thou the holy hand grenade and call it a night.

Oh and can I get another amen? Yea, and I laugheth out loud and threweth my head to and fro in merriment at my reading of this .